To my children: Leland, Lindley, Lincoln, and Lloris. I pray you walk with Christ, and if in God’s providence He should give you children of your own, you raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That is far and away the greatest joy a father can experience.
No duty in my life is more important or more sacred than my role as a husband and Father. That is where my true character is most accurately seen, and it is the best single gauge of my overall success or failure as a leader and role model. Everything else I do as a business analyst, healthcare IT professional, softball/baseball coach, and bible study leader, would be severely compromised if I failed to lead my own family properly. In fact, this is one of the key tests of whether any man is fit to lead the church, because “if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:51). Conversely, if a man cultivates grace, godliness, and the mind of Christ in his home life, the fruit of the Spirit will naturally be seen in abundance throughout every facet of his life – his performance in the workplace, all his relationships, and his conduct in the world.
Furthermore, because home is where a person’s true temperament is most clearly on display, no one knows the real character of a man better than his own children. They see with a keener clarity than most dads realize. If a man’s public persona is merely a hypocritical veneer that disappears in the privacy of the home, the kids will be the first to see that. Indeed, it’s hard to imagine anything more destructive to a child’s moral and spiritual development. An ungodly, hypocritical, or indifferent dad is not only a constant, full=time negative role model; his influence also breeds cynicism, unbelief, discouragement, resentment, and a whole new generation of hypocrisy in his own children. Thus “the iniquity of the fathers [is visited] on the children to the third and fourth generations” (Numbers 14:182; cf, Exodus 20:53; 34:74).
On the positive side, however, no one can have a more potent or longer-lasting influence for good in a child’s life than a spiritually strong father. Bringing our children up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:45) is not only a duty; it is also a great privilege, for “a wise son makes a father glad” (Proverbs 10:16; 15:207). There is no greater joy in life than to see one’s own children walking in the truth (cf. 3 John 48). In other words, nothing is a more worthy investment of any father’s time and energy than this: Be a godly leader in your own home. The returns you will reap include eternal riches of inestimable value, and the earthly rewards alone are sweeter and more valuable than any amount of material wealth.
I trust these words, will be a help and encouragement to you as you pursue that goal. I have purposefully kept it brief, simple, and focused. That is, after all, in keeping with the biblical instructions for fathers. Fatherhood is, of course, a prominent theme from Genesis to Revelation, and principles of parenting are scattered throughout. But glean and organize all of them together and what you will discover is that the Bible’s guidelines for fathers are few and simple. Unlike many of today’s parenting manuals, Scripture doesn’t treat parenting as an arcane or bewildering conundrum. The Father’s duties are straightforward and fairly basic. What makes fatherhood seem difficult are our own inconsistencies and weaknesses. That’s because parenting is first and foremost a spiritual task – one in which personal righteousness, self-control, and the mortification of our own flesh are all necessary prerequisites to proper discipline and instruction of our children. In short, the only way to be a dad who leads well is to be a dad who lives well.
May God bless you and empower you in your pursuit of that goal.
- but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? (New American Standard Bible 1995, 1 Timothy 3:5)
- ‘The LORD is slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generations.’ (New American Standard Bible 1995, Numbers 14:18)
- You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, (New American Standard Bible 1995, Exodus 20:5)
- who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.” (New American Standard Bible 1995, Exodus 34:7)
- Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (New American Standard Bible 1995, Ephesians 6:4)
- The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother. (New American Standard Bible 1995, Proverbs 10:1)
- A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother. (New American Standard Bible 1995, Proverbs 15:20)
- I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. (New American Standard Bible 1995, 3 John 4)
Lance M. Morgan 